Don't let your mind change you. Live for something you desire. Flow faster than the speed of your thoughts. You might get hurt in the process but then, hurt itself is a emotion worth feeling!-
Hurt itself is emotion worth feeling !! =)
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Back to the routine . .
Woke up at 7:29 AM . . slept again for exactly two more minutes then the usual tayyari and left home at 7:54 AM . . weather wasn't that cold as I was expecting . . there were twenty girls in total waiting for the Point at that particular stop :O met the same old girls with their pleasant moods :) . . when the point arrived, it was so over loaded that it seemed like no one passed out last year and just more pupil got admission :D fortunately got a place to stand like a sticker as usual . . Point-ride is always fun no matter what . . :D
Reached the university at 8:36 AM . . the usual guys presenting their political parties were standing in a queue at the check-post to welcome the new comers . . it's always fun to be showered by roses subah subah :D
Went straight to the lobby and found Sarah waiting for me as usual :) . . then met all the other fellows and then we started our non-stop chatting :D . . As it was the orientation day so we were not supposed to have any class and our sweet department's faculty did not allow us to take the orientation class . . 'aap loug to puraanay hain yeh sirf new comers k liye hai' :P . . so we started wandering here and there . . met some people from my *non-favourites' list* at the canteen *eeww*
After spending a lot of time totally faarigh, we went to the Sociology department and there we got to take an unexpected class of Communication skills . . I simply adored the way the new teacher took the introductory class. . I like the people like her :)
Finally we decided to go back home :D . . I must say, crossing that pedestrian bridge all alone is terrible thing to do :S still whenever I reach the top, I feel like laughing out loud I don't know why :O :D
Thank you Allah, for another good day :)
P.S. I'm missing Ammi terribly right now and I just want to cry out loud :/ :(
Reached the university at 8:36 AM . . the usual guys presenting their political parties were standing in a queue at the check-post to welcome the new comers . . it's always fun to be showered by roses subah subah :D
Went straight to the lobby and found Sarah waiting for me as usual :) . . then met all the other fellows and then we started our non-stop chatting :D . . As it was the orientation day so we were not supposed to have any class and our sweet department's faculty did not allow us to take the orientation class . . 'aap loug to puraanay hain yeh sirf new comers k liye hai' :P . . so we started wandering here and there . . met some people from my *non-favourites' list* at the canteen *eeww*
After spending a lot of time totally faarigh, we went to the Sociology department and there we got to take an unexpected class of Communication skills . . I simply adored the way the new teacher took the introductory class. . I like the people like her :)
Finally we decided to go back home :D . . I must say, crossing that pedestrian bridge all alone is terrible thing to do :S still whenever I reach the top, I feel like laughing out loud I don't know why :O :D
Thank you Allah, for another good day :)
P.S. I'm missing Ammi terribly right now and I just want to cry out loud :/ :(
Friday, December 25, 2009
Power Of Love!
“Love does not need to be discussed; It has its own voice and it speaks for itself.” - This quotation is so true and accepted by the majority of people or I better say lovers as in every person there is a lover, yet we never get tired of discussing LOVE and defining it in almost each and every possible way – That is the strength of this undeniable emotion – THE POWER OF LOVE!
I believe that amongst the six basic emotions that exist in every human being, Love is the one with the most number of kinds. There is love for our Creator, for our parents, for our blood-relatives, for our country, for our friends, for our work, for the ‘someone special’ in our life, for the things we own, for our pets, for the nature, etc. and the most dominating of all is the love for our own-self. There might be loads of other forms of this single emotion but the irony of experiencing so many forms is that we, the super-creatures confuse all these kinds with each other and make our life miserable. Instead, we should realize the blessing of being able to feel love and should know the separate value of each of its form.
Love is without any shadow of doubt, the most beautiful, enchanting, appealing and pure emotion. It is so powerful that it keeps you bounded and prisoned in its own territory and eventually it compels you to surrender – with or without your wish.
Love has the power of winning over the other person or the thing you desire. And to use this power, one needs to keep the hope alive and BELIEVE! Love is something that nourishes our existence, it purifies our inner-self and in every love lies the seed of our growth. Yes, we will have rough times, we will have to face the obstacles and it does make us suffer but ultimately, love makes us the most strongest person on the earth and then we look back with pride at the journey we have taken to reach the top-most place of our beloved’s heart.
“ Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others , and the delight in the recognition”
Love gives you passion and passion gives you strength. It makes you restless , it makes you feel like you own the world , and it makes the universe beautiful. It is not something which can be imposed on your beloved rather it has that beautiful charm which attracts the other person unknowingly.
Pure love has so much power that it melts the lock of man’s heart and opens the door that leads to soul of the beloved. Love makes you do stupid things and the wisest things as well. It has so much intensity that one can change the mind and heart of the other person completely just through giving unconditional love. Through love, you can tame a wild animal , through love you can change the feelings of people towards you , through love you can know about your inner-self and most of all , through love you can find God.
One just needs to reach the limit of real love and to learn this art , one needs to re-live certain joys and grieves , and firstly to love each and everyone without exception and expectation and to have faith in the power of love and to remember the saying of Rumi.
“Let the lover be disgraceful , crazy , absent-minded , someone sober will worry about the events going badly; Let the lover be.”
I believe that amongst the six basic emotions that exist in every human being, Love is the one with the most number of kinds. There is love for our Creator, for our parents, for our blood-relatives, for our country, for our friends, for our work, for the ‘someone special’ in our life, for the things we own, for our pets, for the nature, etc. and the most dominating of all is the love for our own-self. There might be loads of other forms of this single emotion but the irony of experiencing so many forms is that we, the super-creatures confuse all these kinds with each other and make our life miserable. Instead, we should realize the blessing of being able to feel love and should know the separate value of each of its form.
Love is without any shadow of doubt, the most beautiful, enchanting, appealing and pure emotion. It is so powerful that it keeps you bounded and prisoned in its own territory and eventually it compels you to surrender – with or without your wish.
Love has the power of winning over the other person or the thing you desire. And to use this power, one needs to keep the hope alive and BELIEVE! Love is something that nourishes our existence, it purifies our inner-self and in every love lies the seed of our growth. Yes, we will have rough times, we will have to face the obstacles and it does make us suffer but ultimately, love makes us the most strongest person on the earth and then we look back with pride at the journey we have taken to reach the top-most place of our beloved’s heart.
“ Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others , and the delight in the recognition”
Love gives you passion and passion gives you strength. It makes you restless , it makes you feel like you own the world , and it makes the universe beautiful. It is not something which can be imposed on your beloved rather it has that beautiful charm which attracts the other person unknowingly.
Pure love has so much power that it melts the lock of man’s heart and opens the door that leads to soul of the beloved. Love makes you do stupid things and the wisest things as well. It has so much intensity that one can change the mind and heart of the other person completely just through giving unconditional love. Through love, you can tame a wild animal , through love you can change the feelings of people towards you , through love you can know about your inner-self and most of all , through love you can find God.
One just needs to reach the limit of real love and to learn this art , one needs to re-live certain joys and grieves , and firstly to love each and everyone without exception and expectation and to have faith in the power of love and to remember the saying of Rumi.
“Let the lover be disgraceful , crazy , absent-minded , someone sober will worry about the events going badly; Let the lover be.”
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Escape . .
If you feel like leaving,
I'm not gonna beg you stay,
'cause you'll be finding,
You can run,
You can hide,
But you can't escape my Love . .
I'm not gonna beg you stay,
'cause you'll be finding,
You can run,
You can hide,
But you can't escape my Love . .
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
sigh*
Depression, Frustrations, Stress , Tensions .. I'm all surrounded by such kind of feelings these days and this all is making me EXHAUSTED! It's not that i am tired of listening and giving advices and helping in the best possible way .. It's just that this is all is becoming more than enough for me ! .. I think I need a long long break ....
Is there any way to run away ?!
Is there any way to run away ?!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
The meaning-less Sorrys!
“I am really sorry “- “I did not mean to hurt you “– “It won’t happen again “– etc etc.
Do you think apologies really help?? – Not in my case at least! Some people say, including most of my friends that if someone has done anything wrong to them than he/she should apologize at least once as it will soothe them in a way or other. But does that really happen? Can you really forget all the hurt someone caused you and all the pain they put you through just by an apology?! I am not denying the greatness of forgiving and the courage of asking for forgiveness but sometimes I find “SORRY” just some meaning-less five alphabets said by people who don’t even know its actual worth!
The fact is that if someone is really sorry than you just come to know from their behavior even before they speak those five alphabets! So, for me, it is not necessary to SAY that you’re sorry – it’s not that I want people not to say but it would be much better if they actually show how they feel – as sometimes words are simply not ENOUGH!
And one thing which people should keep in their mind is that no doubt that “to err is human” but mistakes are not something that keeps on happening again and again. If you have done something wrong and you have realized your mistake and you are actually sorry about it then it should NOT happen again because apologizing simple means assuring the other person that it won’t happen again. But if you commit that same mistake again then this time it didn’t just happen, instead you actually committed it! Or you can say, the second time it wasn’t a “MIS-TAKE” rather it was a “TAKE”. =)
Try to use the word “sorry” as less as you can – Avoid doing such things for which you need to apologize later on – Do not REPEAT your mistakes – Don’t be egoistic and stubborn – Be Nice! =)
Saturday, February 7, 2009
With Possibility comes Impossibility!
"Nothing is Impossible!" - "Impossible itself means that I-M-POSSIBLE!" - blah blah .. For me, these are just the sentences which you use to boost or calm yourself. At least such sentences do not motivate me, they do not give me any kind of hope, they are just meaning-less sentences for me!
There are some things which are actually IMPOSSIBLE - Just think if everything is possible, if we can do everything, if anything can happen then what is the use of this so not possible word?!
For instance, I did not get admission in my desired department beacuse of my low merit and now it is IMPOSSIBLE to get admission there this year, - My beloved dumped me and is involved with some one else now it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to trust him again, - I lost the game and now it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to get the trophy, My childhood has passed and now it is IMPOSSIBLE to get those days back, The bus was over-loaded and it was IMPOSSIBLE to get a place inside - So, you see how important part this little word is playing in our lives and how it over takes our favourite word POSSIBLE!
I am not denying the importance of alternatives but I believe that alternatives do not satisfy you the way the real things do! - I can try next year and get the admission, I can give another chance to the one I love, I can try again to win the game, I can make my young age more beautiful to compensate for that childhood age, I can take the next bus - But what do I get for now?! Sypmathies?? Consolations?? Motivations?? Taunts?? - I hate them all!
Why don't we realize the actual meaning of this word? Why do we always want to satisfy ourselves by saying that nothing is impossible? Why do we always want to run away from the facts? - Life does not give you the realy joy this way! Though, you can spend some good time by thinking that a 'possibility' is always there but then one day or another, you have to face the reality of IMPOSSIBLE!
Believing in "Everything happens for a reason" should give you the courage to believe that some things are IMPOSSIBLE and there must always be a reason behind that IMPOSSIBLE as well.
Realize this neglected word, Enjoy the impossibilities, Take the alternatives, Face the life without excuses!
-Stay happy! =)
There are some things which are actually IMPOSSIBLE - Just think if everything is possible, if we can do everything, if anything can happen then what is the use of this so not possible word?!
For instance, I did not get admission in my desired department beacuse of my low merit and now it is IMPOSSIBLE to get admission there this year, - My beloved dumped me and is involved with some one else now it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to trust him again, - I lost the game and now it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to get the trophy, My childhood has passed and now it is IMPOSSIBLE to get those days back, The bus was over-loaded and it was IMPOSSIBLE to get a place inside - So, you see how important part this little word is playing in our lives and how it over takes our favourite word POSSIBLE!
I am not denying the importance of alternatives but I believe that alternatives do not satisfy you the way the real things do! - I can try next year and get the admission, I can give another chance to the one I love, I can try again to win the game, I can make my young age more beautiful to compensate for that childhood age, I can take the next bus - But what do I get for now?! Sypmathies?? Consolations?? Motivations?? Taunts?? - I hate them all!
Why don't we realize the actual meaning of this word? Why do we always want to satisfy ourselves by saying that nothing is impossible? Why do we always want to run away from the facts? - Life does not give you the realy joy this way! Though, you can spend some good time by thinking that a 'possibility' is always there but then one day or another, you have to face the reality of IMPOSSIBLE!
Believing in "Everything happens for a reason" should give you the courage to believe that some things are IMPOSSIBLE and there must always be a reason behind that IMPOSSIBLE as well.
Realize this neglected word, Enjoy the impossibilities, Take the alternatives, Face the life without excuses!
-Stay happy! =)
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Its late !
" Its never too late " - We all hear this phrase very often but I don't really believe in it. I think it is just an excuse for something you have missed and for me, excuses are always lame, of no use and they should not even exist!
The fact is that it is really late sometimes. For instance, you missed your best buddy's birthday and the next day you wish him/her, feel sorry with this lame phrase in your mind - " It's never too late ". But in your heart you know somewhere inside that it is actually late and the special time, the perfect day has gone. Or for example, someone did something really unfair to you and after sometime he/she realizes his/her mistake and comes back to you just to tell you how sorry he/she is and wants you to forgive because IT'S NEVER TOO LATE ! - This should not happen, being sorry and being forgiven does not mean that the hurt is healed, the pain you caused is vanished. I believe that there is always a right time for everything and when that right time is once passed - its passed! You can not bring it back and it is actually LATE now !
As they say -
" Always leave your loved ones with loving words because it might be the last time you are talking to them. " - So, realize before it is too late. Love NOW! - Forgive NOW! - Care NOW! - Laugh NOW! - Smile NOW! - Enjoy NOW! - Ask for forgiveness NOW! - And most of all, LIVE NOW!
Do not let it go and wait for the right time. Do not commit mistakes knowingly. You never know, NOW may be the right time, NOW may be the last chance.
Come out of this " It's never too late " and avoid being help-less in the end.
Cheers. :)
The fact is that it is really late sometimes. For instance, you missed your best buddy's birthday and the next day you wish him/her, feel sorry with this lame phrase in your mind - " It's never too late ". But in your heart you know somewhere inside that it is actually late and the special time, the perfect day has gone. Or for example, someone did something really unfair to you and after sometime he/she realizes his/her mistake and comes back to you just to tell you how sorry he/she is and wants you to forgive because IT'S NEVER TOO LATE ! - This should not happen, being sorry and being forgiven does not mean that the hurt is healed, the pain you caused is vanished. I believe that there is always a right time for everything and when that right time is once passed - its passed! You can not bring it back and it is actually LATE now !
As they say -
" Always leave your loved ones with loving words because it might be the last time you are talking to them. " - So, realize before it is too late. Love NOW! - Forgive NOW! - Care NOW! - Laugh NOW! - Smile NOW! - Enjoy NOW! - Ask for forgiveness NOW! - And most of all, LIVE NOW!
Do not let it go and wait for the right time. Do not commit mistakes knowingly. You never know, NOW may be the right time, NOW may be the last chance.
Come out of this " It's never too late " and avoid being help-less in the end.
Cheers. :)
Thursday, January 1, 2009
First day of 2009 !
The day was TERRIBLE! simply terrible! - I wonder how Allah gives patience .. how one can survive without their loved ones ?!
An aunt of mine passed away today .. Unbelievable!! Yes I know everyone has to die .. no one is going to live forever .. I know The Last Day is already written .. but still I can't believe that she is gone - gone forever!
She went for Hajj In December'08 .. with her husband and a son .. She had to come back on 10th of January'09 .. All preparations were done .. Her family here was marking on calender , counting the days .. missing them desperately .. even we were thinking about them .. making plans to bring cake and flowers right on the day of their arrival .. !! But what ?! .. My sister returned from her office with this 'sad' news !
The youngest son used to sleep with her mother .. He told once k I miss her a lot .. specially at night .. He was not crying today .. In fact he was the one who gave the News! .. He was quiet .. just quiet .. sitting at the corner of the room .. LOST! ..
People are saying she is very lucky because she took he last breath in The Holy Place .. Before leaving she asked everyone for forgiveness, finished all her worldly tasks .. and performing her last duty , Allah took her back - sin-less! Luckiest Women I should say .. !! But then again .. How will her family survive without her .. ?! how come someone can live without his/her mother?! It takes my breath even when I only think what I'd have done if I was at their place ..! ! Suicide?! Nervous break-down?! Or would just spend my life as a dead body breathing!! I don't know .. and I don't even want to think about it ..
I just want to pray .. Please Allah don't take my loved ones back before me .. Please Allah I don't want to spend a single moment without them .. *speech-less* ..
An aunt of mine passed away today .. Unbelievable!! Yes I know everyone has to die .. no one is going to live forever .. I know The Last Day is already written .. but still I can't believe that she is gone - gone forever!
She went for Hajj In December'08 .. with her husband and a son .. She had to come back on 10th of January'09 .. All preparations were done .. Her family here was marking on calender , counting the days .. missing them desperately .. even we were thinking about them .. making plans to bring cake and flowers right on the day of their arrival .. !! But what ?! .. My sister returned from her office with this 'sad' news !
The youngest son used to sleep with her mother .. He told once k I miss her a lot .. specially at night .. He was not crying today .. In fact he was the one who gave the News! .. He was quiet .. just quiet .. sitting at the corner of the room .. LOST! ..
People are saying she is very lucky because she took he last breath in The Holy Place .. Before leaving she asked everyone for forgiveness, finished all her worldly tasks .. and performing her last duty , Allah took her back - sin-less! Luckiest Women I should say .. !! But then again .. How will her family survive without her .. ?! how come someone can live without his/her mother?! It takes my breath even when I only think what I'd have done if I was at their place ..! ! Suicide?! Nervous break-down?! Or would just spend my life as a dead body breathing!! I don't know .. and I don't even want to think about it ..
I just want to pray .. Please Allah don't take my loved ones back before me .. Please Allah I don't want to spend a single moment without them .. *speech-less* ..
Friday, November 14, 2008
Immaturity - Maturity ...
Does 'rejection' bring maturity ??!I believe it doesn't! Well, majority of the people keep on repeating their mistakes and they never ever learn .. I wonder WHY ?!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
Fading away ..
Don't matter what people say,
I never did believe them,
I know, I know they know everything ..
I'll be alright by myself,
and no one's gonna tell me I'm defined,
confined by love
now our days seems strange,
I guess my heart was bound to change
I fell out, out of you and me
you're fading from view
and you're falling into history
I never thought that I'd say,
that I don't really miss you,
I lived, I breathed your breath through me
time has a way of passing by,
until I don't remember why or how to hurt for you
love's pain has gone somewhere,
and I'm finally be there ..
I fell out, out of you and me
you're fading from view
and you're falling into history ..
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Helplessness ..
There are times when you feel there is NOTHING you can do now , NOTHING you can change .. And you can't even escape .. you can't even go some where far far away .. to hide .. to be alone! The world keeps on telling you that you're totally HELPLESS!!
Everyone suffers from this state one day or another .. Once,twice,thrice .. or more .. You face it, you suffer and then you come out of it!! HOW?!
" I'm help-less! " - I hate this sentence. I really really hate it.
I've suffered how does it feel to REALIZE that you're helpless and one thing which i came to know is that becoming helpless makes me CRY !! ..
Is there anything , any solution through which you can beat this HELPLESSNESS ??
I don't have and i'm helpless ....
Everyone suffers from this state one day or another .. Once,twice,thrice .. or more .. You face it, you suffer and then you come out of it!! HOW?!
" I'm help-less! " - I hate this sentence. I really really hate it.
I've suffered how does it feel to REALIZE that you're helpless and one thing which i came to know is that becoming helpless makes me CRY !! ..
Is there anything , any solution through which you can beat this HELPLESSNESS ??
I don't have and i'm helpless ....
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wishes and Desires ..
I want to go back to the time ...
When getting high meant On a swing ..
When drinking meant Orange juice ..
When protection meant Wearing a helmet ..
When Mom was Home ..
When Dad's shoulders was the Highest place on earth ..
When your sibling were your Worst enemies ..
When the only drug you knew was Cough syrup ..
When the only thing that could hurt you was Skinned knees ..
When the only thing broken were your Toys ..
When we could wear whatever We wanted ..
When good-byes only meant till Tomorrow ..
When you could have Everyone and Anyone .. !!
Monday, October 27, 2008
A note of thanks ..
Have been taking decisions and making plans since last few months .. I thought i'm over with it, tired of my life and then Allah blessed me with 'Someone' .. Who came,who saw and who conquered *=)* ...
Thanks for coming into my life just at the right time .. Thanks for ..umm .. meri aqal thikaanay laganay k liye .. :) .. Thanks for making me understand all that i already knew but never tried to realize .. Thanks for being there not to listen but to TELL !! .. Thanks LAYS !! :)
* Time heals .. it really does !
Thanks for coming into my life just at the right time .. Thanks for ..umm .. meri aqal thikaanay laganay k liye .. :) .. Thanks for making me understand all that i already knew but never tried to realize .. Thanks for being there not to listen but to TELL !! .. Thanks LAYS !! :)
* Time heals .. it really does !
All over ..
Two separate, distinct personalities, not separate at all, but inextricably bound, soul and body and mind, to each other, how did we get so far apart so fast?
- Judith Guest.
- Judith Guest.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
ACCEPT !!
True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be and will not be.
- George Bernard Shaw.
- George Bernard Shaw.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
TOO LITTLE TIME !!
Too many thoughts, too many things to sort out, too many assignments to submit, too many finishing iss needed to complete my journal, too many issues to be resolved, too many friends, too many fights, too many wishes.......
I DESPERATLY NEED A BREAK !!!
I DESPERATLY NEED A BREAK !!!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Lost ...
Junoon ?? .. No, obviously i'm not talking about Ali azmat wala Junoon .. I actually want to know the meaning of this word .. ' JUNOON ' !
I don't know why but whenever i say 'Junoon' .. i feel something deep inside .. i don't know what i feel but i do .. I always say that i'm Numb! .. Being 'Numb' and still 'Feeling' - WOWW!! .. Amazing .. isn't it? .. :)
Maybe I'm not Numb .. not precisely because i feel *something* when i say 'Junoon' .. but maybe because i really feel at times .. I don't exactly remember when i felt something by heart last time .. let me think .. ummm .. mmm .. when i came to know that i've passed my Intermediate with *good* grade ?? .. Did i feel happy that time?? Did i really feel anything?? I think I did .. but not as much as i should have !! .. I still remember that day .. It was Sunday .. My cousins were at my place .. and we decided to go for Halwa poori's naashta .. we went .. we were excited [i wasn't .. i'm numb!] .. we had fun .. shayad i had fun too .. when we reached back .. I read the newspaper and then i came to know My result is expected today .. [Result ?? Sunday ko?? Kyuun??] .. as soon as i read that .. i started smsing my friends [ uthoo!! .. aaj result aaraha hai!! ] .. my whole family plus my cousins started teasing and irritating me .. [ kiya main irritate horahi thi?? or was i just pretending?? ] I came upstairs .. turned on the PC .. opened the website .. and then i started ghoomna phirna idher udher orkut per .. finally at around 2 o'clock .. i came to know that the result is announced .. silently i checked it .. and when i saw 'CLEARED' .. i just thanked Allah silently .. then after 2, 3 minutes i called my elder sister who was in her room .. I simply said .. ' Tahreem !! .. main pass hogayi :D ' .. [My voice was loud enough that my cousin suddenly woke up from deeeeeeepp sleep ] .. they all started shouting and congratulating me ... upper neechay pooray ghar main shor mach gaya .. [weren't they expecting k main pass hojaongi? :O ] .. or were they just so much happy.. simply *happy* :) .. i was sitting so calmly .. no i was pretending to show all of them that yess!! m happy too !! .. i checked the results of my other friends .. went down stairs to attend the phone calls of my *excited friends* .. called my grand-mother to tell her that her grand-daughter is very intelligent =/ .. But i think i was really happy that day .. yes i felt really really good !! after a very long time .. I kept on smiling the whole day .. and it means i was happy .. smiling not because i had to pretend but because i really wanted to smile .. :) !!
Since then .. matlab since November'07 I haven't ever felt that much happy again .. Why ?? I don't know .. No , i know .. because I'm Numb!!
And when i cried last time?? When i really really felt that much bad ?? .. let me think again ..... yeahh .. when in April'07 .. my father got a Heart-attack .. I felt like i'm all alone !! .. I felt like attempting suicide !! .. I cried for 3 days .. and then everything came back to normal .. Abbu came back from hospital so as my Life !! .. since then i haven't felt *sadness* and why'd I ?? I'm Numb!!
I felt very bad when i got admission in Sociology .. but not as bad as i should have !! .. i can't explain how much i hate being there .. but still i didn't feel that much bad .. because I'm Numb !!
I felt bad 9 days ago .. When my uncle passed away .. I cried and cried for the whole night .. but i don't know why i was crying ?? .. But i did !! .. Next morning i saw his dead-body .. the whole family cried when they saw it .. even the distant relatives cried .. but i didn't .. why?? Because ......... *:)*
Huuuffff .. Mind is really 'Aawaara' ..!! .. I wanted to discuss 'Junoon' .. and this 'Numbness' ..... huh !!
Can anyone please define 'Junoon' for me ?? =/
I don't know why but whenever i say 'Junoon' .. i feel something deep inside .. i don't know what i feel but i do .. I always say that i'm Numb! .. Being 'Numb' and still 'Feeling' - WOWW!! .. Amazing .. isn't it? .. :)
Maybe I'm not Numb .. not precisely because i feel *something* when i say 'Junoon' .. but maybe because i really feel at times .. I don't exactly remember when i felt something by heart last time .. let me think .. ummm .. mmm .. when i came to know that i've passed my Intermediate with *good* grade ?? .. Did i feel happy that time?? Did i really feel anything?? I think I did .. but not as much as i should have !! .. I still remember that day .. It was Sunday .. My cousins were at my place .. and we decided to go for Halwa poori's naashta .. we went .. we were excited [i wasn't .. i'm numb!] .. we had fun .. shayad i had fun too .. when we reached back .. I read the newspaper and then i came to know My result is expected today .. [Result ?? Sunday ko?? Kyuun??] .. as soon as i read that .. i started smsing my friends [ uthoo!! .. aaj result aaraha hai!! ] .. my whole family plus my cousins started teasing and irritating me .. [ kiya main irritate horahi thi?? or was i just pretending?? ] I came upstairs .. turned on the PC .. opened the website .. and then i started ghoomna phirna idher udher orkut per .. finally at around 2 o'clock .. i came to know that the result is announced .. silently i checked it .. and when i saw 'CLEARED' .. i just thanked Allah silently .. then after 2, 3 minutes i called my elder sister who was in her room .. I simply said .. ' Tahreem !! .. main pass hogayi :D ' .. [My voice was loud enough that my cousin suddenly woke up from deeeeeeepp sleep ] .. they all started shouting and congratulating me ... upper neechay pooray ghar main shor mach gaya .. [weren't they expecting k main pass hojaongi? :O ] .. or were they just so much happy.. simply *happy* :) .. i was sitting so calmly .. no i was pretending to show all of them that yess!! m happy too !! .. i checked the results of my other friends .. went down stairs to attend the phone calls of my *excited friends* .. called my grand-mother to tell her that her grand-daughter is very intelligent =/ .. But i think i was really happy that day .. yes i felt really really good !! after a very long time .. I kept on smiling the whole day .. and it means i was happy .. smiling not because i had to pretend but because i really wanted to smile .. :) !!
Since then .. matlab since November'07 I haven't ever felt that much happy again .. Why ?? I don't know .. No , i know .. because I'm Numb!!
And when i cried last time?? When i really really felt that much bad ?? .. let me think again ..... yeahh .. when in April'07 .. my father got a Heart-attack .. I felt like i'm all alone !! .. I felt like attempting suicide !! .. I cried for 3 days .. and then everything came back to normal .. Abbu came back from hospital so as my Life !! .. since then i haven't felt *sadness* and why'd I ?? I'm Numb!!
I felt very bad when i got admission in Sociology .. but not as bad as i should have !! .. i can't explain how much i hate being there .. but still i didn't feel that much bad .. because I'm Numb !!
I felt bad 9 days ago .. When my uncle passed away .. I cried and cried for the whole night .. but i don't know why i was crying ?? .. But i did !! .. Next morning i saw his dead-body .. the whole family cried when they saw it .. even the distant relatives cried .. but i didn't .. why?? Because ......... *:)*
Huuuffff .. Mind is really 'Aawaara' ..!! .. I wanted to discuss 'Junoon' .. and this 'Numbness' ..... huh !!
Can anyone please define 'Junoon' for me ?? =/
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